Reality Isn't Always Right

Airplane! (in loving memory of Leslie Nielsen)

iLove — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 00:21:42 +0000

Pilot: surely you can’t be serious.

Leslie Nielsen: I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley. – the life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who did not have fish for dinner.

Sesiune

iLove — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 01:22:59 +0000

D.: in noaptea asta si maine va trebui sa invat!

Luc: aa deci nu pot sa te sun maine? *sad face*

D.: cum sa nu, o pauza este intotdeauna bine venita!

*laughs*

D.: cu cat mai multe, cu atat mai bine.

meatless Spaghetti

iLove — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 11:31:32 +0000

Ricky: well, Amy wanted you to come over and have dinner with us. She’s making spaghetti.

George: she makes the worst spaghetti in the world.

Ricky: i know..

George: it doesn’t have real meat in it.

Ricky: i know!

George: you wanna eat meatless spaghetti for the rest of your life?!

——

*Amy and Ricky kissing*

George: trying to get the taste of that sauce our of your mouth?

Amy: Dad, stop teasing me! I know you like my spaghetti. You once had a huge plateful.

Ricky: Amy wants to make every friday “Spaghetti night”. Maybe you could come over every friday night.

George: I’ll take thursdays.

Face the Cookie

iLove — Sat, 28 May 2011 10:42:33 +0000

Guy: let’s see… Zuleyka, you were the 1st to do it and you told me you loved this. Hm, is it because you are good at it or you were just hungry?

Zuleyka: yeah, no, i’m very good at it.

Guy: so you’ve played this before.

Zuleyka: yeah, because i don’t have botox so i can move my face

Girl-talk

iLove — Thu, 12 May 2011 12:32:55 +0000

1: e un magar!

2: ma pis pe magaria lui!!

Plastic surgery

iLove — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:02:09 +0000

Slammers: and this chin is an implat. as my cabs and pectorals.
Donna: that's really...
Slammers: perverse?
Donna: i didn't say that.
Slammers: i did it to feel better about myself.
[...]
Donna: here's the thing. You went through all this trouble to be handsome, which you are btw. 
Lipo, imlpant, botox, hair plugs, then you confess it all up in the 1st date. That's what i find...
Slammers: perverse?
Donna: that would not be an accurate term.
Slammers *hands her a pic with the old self*
Donna: whoa..it is you?
Slammers: my teeth. I need to know, if in the dark you'll going to see that man or the man 
standing in front of you this evening.
Donna: i'm not gonna be seeing anyone, because it's dark *laughs*
[...]
Slammers: i'm a patient man.
Donna: no kidding. All the plastic in, you got a longer shelf left in crafting cheese slices!

------

Gaby: aand here's the woman whose to blame! Man, i'd like to smack that smile right off her face, 
which btw has been pulled so tight, it would probably smack me back!

Hunting Ghosts

iLove — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 00:05:08 +0000

Gerald: maaan, I think we shouldn’t open the door.

Arnold: why not?

Gerald: because it means that one of us was right. Aaand that one of us was wrong.

Arnold: and?

Gerald: I don’t want to be the one who was wrong.

privacy

iLove — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 17:35:24 +0000

Eric van der Woodsen: I would tell you to get a room, but yours is just above mine, please remember that!

——

Foreman: so I’m just a regular patient now?

House: no. You get your own thermometer.

youth

iLove — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 15:31:33 +0000

Mrs McClusky: you still haven’t heard from him?

secretary: for the 17th time: no.

Mrs McClusky: where she got off having all that attitude?!

Mrs McClusky’s sister: she’s young and pretty and we’re not.

Mrs McClusky: she’s not that pretty.

secretary: I can hear every word you’re saying.

Mrs McClusky: from all the way over there? God, she is young.

House’s math classes

iLove — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 22:19:37 +0000

House: 7s marry 7s, 9s marry 9s, 4s marry 4s. But maybe there’s some wiggle room if there’s enough money or somebody got pregnant. But you’ve got at least 3 points on your husband and your frock says you didn’t do it for the money. and your breasts say that you haven’t had any kids.

Woman, patient: So you figure my marriage is a mathematical error?!

House: numbers don’t lie.

——

House: Cases like these – you terminate, mom lives 10 times out of 10. You do what you did, mom and baby both die 9.9 times out of 10.

Cuddy: sometimes 0.1 is bigger than 9.9.

House: no, it’s smaller. Exactly 9.8 smaller. Always is, always will be.

———

House: I believe in statistics. 200 passengers on the plane. 10 should be gay, 2 should be with child and 1 should be incredibly annoying, with an extra ass chromosome.

———-

House: I was never great at math, but “next to nothing” is higher that “nothing”, right?